Therapy for Trauma, Identity & Self-Trust
Trauma doesn’t always look the way you expect.
Trauma may develop after one overwhelming moment or through experiences that happen repeatedly over time. You may have heard these described as “Big T” and “little t” trauma. But the purpose isn’t to rank what happened or decide whether it was bad enough. What matters is how the experience affected you—and trauma can affect different people in very different ways.
You may protect yourself by becoming quiet, passive, or overly accommodating. You may become guarded, controlling, intensely independent, or determined never to feel powerless again. Trauma can also show up through emotional numbing, impulsivity, or returning to risky or harmful situations that seem to repeat parts of what happened. You might move between several of these responses depending on the relationship or situation.
Not every trauma response looks protective from the outside. But underneath, these patterns may be attempts to regain control, avoid overwhelming feelings, maintain connection, or make sense of something that never should have happened. Over time, it can become difficult to recognize which choices reflect who you are—and which ones are still being shaped by survival.
Maybe some of this feels familiar:
You struggle to recognize or communicate your needs until they become impossible to ignore
You over-accommodate others—or feel responsible for controlling everything around you
You question your reactions, minimize what happened, or wonder whether it was “bad enough” to affect you
You feel disconnected from your body, sexuality, beliefs, identity, or sense of what you genuinely want
You’re ready to understand what shaped you—and decide what you want to carry forward.
How therapy works
Therapy can help memories feel less emotionally charged—so the past feels less present.
We’ll begin by understanding how your experiences are affecting you now—your relationships, body, beliefs, emotions, choices, and sense of self. We’ll also identify what helps you feel grounded and present. Trauma work should not require you to disclose everything immediately or begin processing memories before you feel ready.
Together, we’ll get curious about the responses that helped you survive, even when they may now be creating problems in your life. I may use parts-informed work and guided visualization to help you approach these responses with curiosity rather than shame. Visualization may be used to strengthen a sense of internal safety, create distance from overwhelming material, connect with different parts of yourself, or imagine responding to a situation in a new way. Instead of treating a protective part of you as something to eliminate, we can begin understanding what it has been trying to do and help it discover that other choices are now available.
I also draw from ACT- and DBT-informed approaches to help you relate differently to painful thoughts and emotions, tolerate distress, regulate intense responses, and take action based on your values. This work can help you recognize your needs, communicate more directly, set boundaries, and build a life that is not organized entirely around avoiding pain or staying protected.
When appropriate, I may incorporate EMDR or Brainspotting. These approaches can help us work with experiences that continue to feel emotionally or physically present, even when you understand intellectually that they are over. We’ll decide together whether either approach feels appropriate, and processing will always move at a pace that supports your safety, stability, and ability to remain connected to the present.
Therapy may also involve examining the meaning you made from what happened—beliefs such as “I’m damaged,” “I’m powerless,” or “I can’t trust myself.” Rather than allowing those beliefs to define you, we’ll make room for grief, anger, uncertainty, and the parts of your identity that may have been silenced, controlled, or disconnected from you.
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting what happened or becoming someone entirely new. It means having more choice in how you respond, greater trust in your own perceptions and needs, and the freedom to decide which parts of your story you want to carry forward.
Trauma therapy can help you…
Lessen the emotional intensity of painful memories and triggers
Feel more grounded and connected to the present when reminders arise
Understand protective responses with greater curiosity and less shame
Rebuild trust in your body, perceptions, needs, and boundaries
Reconnect or discover your identity and make choices guided by who you are now
Questions? I’ve got answers.
FAQs
-
You don’t have to compare your experience with someone else’s or prove that it was severe enough to deserve support. Trauma may follow one overwhelming event or develop through repeated experiences that left you feeling unsafe, powerless, ashamed, or disconnected from yourself. We can focus on how the experience is affecting you now without forcing it into a particular label. Learn more.
-
No. You are in control of what you share, and you will not be required to describe every detail for therapy to be meaningful. We can begin with what is happening in your life now and build enough trust, grounding, and stability before approaching painful material. If you choose to process a memory, we’ll do so collaboratively and at a pace that feels manageable. Learn more.
-
Not necessarily. EMDR and Brainspotting are options, not requirements, and we’ll first consider your goals, readiness, current stability, and ability to remain connected to the present. Therapy may also incorporate ACT- and DBT-informed skills, parts-informed work, visualization, somatic awareness, or conversation. Together, we’ll decide what feels most appropriate rather than forcing you into one method. Learn more.